21st century fortune cookie

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Longtime television critic and entertainment journalist-turned-novelty entrepreneur Ray Richmond has been inspired to reinvent both himself and the iconic fortune cookie into a more modern version.

Richmond tells KFWB’s Maggie McKay how he decided to get into the fortune cookie business:

At present, the cookies are available for order at www.SmartestCookies.com.

The 20 different Christmas messages include:

  • You will spread hope and joy throughout the Christmas season and then abruptly stop in January.
  • It’s confusing to you that there is a Christmas Eve but no Christmas Adam.
  • Soon you will consider donning gay apparel.
  • If you’re a lord, please stop leaping. You’re scaring the children.
  • And:  A jolly man in a red suit will illegally enter into your home, traumatize your children, and give them toys.
  • The collection of 20 Hanukkah messages include:
  • If you don’t think oil can last for eight days, try not washing your hair for a week.
  • Our holiday isn’t quite as cool as theirs. But we run all of the banks.
  • Every time someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, you’ll think extra-Jewish thoughts to compensate.
  • Your most vexing dilemma this month is whether to go with applesauce or sour cream.
  • And:  “I’m Judah Maccabee, and I approve this message.”
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